I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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