yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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