3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
