so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
