sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
