YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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