Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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