Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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