He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
