Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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