I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
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