I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
