The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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