i don't like sucking hair
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
