All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
