i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
