woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
