wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
