operation harelip BJ is a go
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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