For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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