yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
