and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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