do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Vodka?
Forever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
