i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
