Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
my god I love twenty year old dicks
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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