Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
