I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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