Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
