So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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