We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize