dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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