She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
