that's an acceptable place to lick
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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