shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
