so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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