I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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