Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
