i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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