u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
