i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
