Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
