the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
vagina is talking i cant
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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