You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
