I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
