her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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