I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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