apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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