I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize