Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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