would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
