morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
