You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
