listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
