how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
