She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Found the puke drawer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
