So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
