im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
